


Tony Stark, Spider Slayer

by esmeeeeme



Series: Life In The Avengers Household [LITAH] [2]
Category: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Drabble, Fanfiction, Gen, One Shot, repost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-30
Updated: 2012-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-19 21:17:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/577761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmeeeeme/pseuds/esmeeeeme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a beautiful Saturday morning in the Avengers household... Until the Goliath Bird Eater Spider escaped. Domestic Avengers! Has Peter Parker in it, based off Avengers Headcanons on Tumblr. Rated T for language. One-Shot. Drabble. Repost of original one shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tony Stark, Spider Slayer

**Author's Note:**

> Yep, it's a repost! Just transferring some works over here. 
> 
> I don't own The Avengers or Peter Parker.
> 
> Enjoy!

Other than the Hulk, one thing everyone in the Avengers tower would like to avoid is Tony Stark not having his coffee.

His crankiness is understandable. The man works at night and tries to sleep at least four hours, but let's admit it; he is too damn cranky in the mornings without his coffee.

But his crankiness was actually useful one Saturday morning...

The morning the Goliath Bird Eater escaped.

* * *

 

Peter Parker was new to the tower. He was an unofficial addition to the Avengers that SHIELD did to keep an eye on him. It was pretty unexpected but the kid wasn't much of a bother. He was always working on his web blasters in the new laboratory Tony had installed a few halls down from his own. He went to school, eventually went out crime fighting. A good kid.

He had stayed up, helping out Tony in his lab with a new suit design and worked on his newest prototype of web blasters. They spent some chill time, just talking and working. It was nice.

But it also cost them many hours of sleep.

As usual, Peter woke up around eight AM. He was exhausted, but he still woke up that early. Force of habit.

Peter had been getting cereal in the kitchen when he saw Pepper standing on the kitchen counter, screaming and pointing on the table. 

"SPIDER!!!!!"

Once he saw the spider casually sitting on the kitchen table, his eyes widened.

_Goliath Bird Eater._

Nope. He was so done.

"SWEET LORD!" he exclaimed, nearly dropping his cereal.

In instinct,  he jumped up onto the wall and crawled above next to the air ducts, still in his pajamas.

Another residential Avenger, Bruce Banner, was entering the kitchen. But he immediately turned around with a simple "Nope" and went downstairs to his lab.

"CLINT!" he yelled into the air vents, pounding loud on them. "CLINT!!! HELP!"

"What do you-OH MY GOD!" Clint Barton was rubbing his head and entering from the main living room jumped up on the refrigerator.

"That's the biggest spider I've ever seen!"

"Someone kill it!" shouted Pepper. "Shoot it, blast it, DO SOMETHING!"

"Peter, you're Spider-Man! Do something!" exclaimed Clint as he jumped on top of the refrigerator.

"That's a Goliath bird eater! No way in hell that I'm doing something!" Peter had jumped onto the wall and was on the top, nearing the roof.

For some reason, the R&D Departments upstairs had been working with Goliath bird eater spiders, all imported from South America. Largest spider in the world, about the size of a dinner plate.

Tony had made it very clear that no one was to mess with the spiders. At all, whatsoever. Once everyone saw one of them on the screen, they all agreed to not mess with them. They were pretty scary.

Peter had no problems with tarantulas. Or any spiders really. Here, it was either him or Natasha that dealt with them.

But the Goliath bird eater spiders are his number one weakness.

Why? They were freaky. Larger than your own hand. And it could eat birds.

_Birds._

"Natasha! Do something!" exclaimed Peter.

"No." Natasha Romanoff was so done with the spider killing.

She walked right out of the kitchen and slammed the door to her room shut. And locked it, stuffing a towel at the bottom.

"Clint!" Peter yelled.

"No!" Clint shook his head. "STEVE!"

"JARVIS!" yelled Peter.

"Yes sir?" asked the polite AI.

"WHERE THE HELL IS STEVE?!" shouted Clint.

"Mr. Rogers is not in the building right now."

"Oh God... Come on Clint, you guys have dealt with alien armies, but you can't deal with a friggin' spider?!" exclaimed Peter.

"Shut up Peter, you're 17!" shouted Clint.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKES ANY SENSE!"

"SHUT UP! I AM A LEGAL ADULT, THEREFORE IT DOES!"

"SOMEONE KILL THAT SPIDER!" 

Just then, Tony yawned, entering the kitchen and seeing Clint on the refrigerator, his girlfriend on the counter and Peter on the wall. He groaned. It was too early for this shit. So, he got his shoe and hit the spider with a satisfying smack.

"You guys need to get your shit together!" he snapped, refilled his coffee mug and left.

It was silent in the kitchen. Clint got off from the top of the refrigerator and looked at the dead spider. Peter fixed his glasses and slowly lowered himself off the wall. Pepper got down from the counter.

"Is it dead?" she asked.

"I think so."

"Good!" Pepper exclaimed and left the kitchen quickly.

It was silent once again.

"Well Peter," Clint broke the silence. "Should we have a funeral for your cousin?"

It took Peter a minute to understand what he meant.

"Okay, that is just rude."

**Author's Note:**

> You know the drill. Give the feedback to the Esme. [me]
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
